Saturday, April 7, 2012

Dear Buffy,

Hey Buff. Here's a question. How come when you did the sexy time things with Angel his soul went away but not with Spike? I guess the gypsies had a lot of fine print in that equation whereas the guy who gave Spike his soul was just kinda like "here you go, bro, try not to fuck it up." Also, when Angel didn't have a soul he was waaaay meaner than Spike without one. I was thinking of nicknaming the men in my life Spike and Angel but then how would we know who we meant when we were discussing menfolk? I'd be like oh Spike did this, and you'd be like "your Spike or mine?"

I got way too drunk and threw up a lot last night. I almost peed my pants. I just had this horrible memory of this one time when I was in high school giving a presentation in front of a class and I was shaking so hard from stage fright and crying from the public speaking that I peed my pants during the five minute presentation. I remember just pretending that I wasn't peeing because I didn't think anyone could tell but I'm sure that they could. That's a pretty obvious thing. I just pretended like it never happened but everyone knew. That hatred of attention is probably one of the reasons I wanted to do stand up. Cool, huh, B?

You're the best! Stay safe patrolling!


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