Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Dear Buffy,

Hey B,

Just watched the episode "All the Way" based on Halloween in Season 6. I love how awkward you are with Spike when you guys run into each other in the Magic Shop basement. I haven't been with anyone romantically in a long time... and I haven't really wanted to. I've been kinda closed off girl lately. I think if there was anyone in my life right now similar to Spike pre-soulifying, I would fall for them, just because they were wrong for me. Similarly, Dawn doesn't exactly make smart decisions in this episode either. Awwwe, I miss the time of being young and kissing random boys I didn't know at all- oh wait that literally has NEVER happened to me in my life. Shudder. 

Anyway, Giles rocks!
love B

Monday, October 5, 2015

Dear Buffy

Hiya B...  You doing okay, buddy? A few nights ago I watched the second Halloween episode, "Fear Itself" from season four. I of course love that episode and I love you...but it's weird watching two Halloween episodes back to back. You're so insecure in both "Halloween" and "Fear Itself" and both time about a guy! I mean, I totally can relate to having felt that before, but you just seemed so sad and listless in Fear Itself. I'm sorry Parker is a dummy. And I know me telling you you're a total catch isn't gonna make it any easier for you to be bravery confident-girl, but I just wish all my friends could see themselves as the smart, beautiful, brilliant, amazingly cool women that they are.

Don't be afraid that you're gonna be alone.

This episode definitely made me miss Oz.

Love you, B,

Friday, October 2, 2015

Dear Buffy,

Hey B!

Sorry I haven't written a lot lately. I've kinda been shutting myself off from people, like you did in season 6 and 7... (and well, in all of them.)

I just watched the episode Halloween last night, where you all turn into your costumes. It always puts me in a weird head space because I look up to you SO much (even though you're 16 in this episode..) and I think of you as such a strong person, and to see you so insecure about your looks kinda throws me. But on the other hand it's very real and relateable. I get very insecure about my weight, and it's not even to impress a 200 year old vampire. (I'm alone, haha) I think I get insecure about my weight because of something deeper, not so much aesthetic. Like I'm insecure about how much I exist, and how much I annoy everyone. Similarly, I think you being insecure about your hair and makeup and clothes... maybe you're not insecure that you don't have time to put effort into your looks, maybe you're insecure that you don't have time to take care of yourself as much as you want to.

I should be psychoanalyzing you, I cried while reading a book last night.

Anyway, I don't know if I'll take your "Halloween is come as you aren't" advice, because I wanna wear something kinda cute and funny, and hopefully that's not too far off base from who I am.

Man, foreboding Giles drama...

See you soon,
Love you, B,