Dear Buffy,

Hey, so one of my best friends is leaving to go to New York. It's really hard to deal with, because I don't have that many close friends. I love her almost as much as I love you, but no offense but it's probably a healthier love that I have with her since I don't actually want to be her. (Which is sorta a new dynamic for me.) I have a lot of acquaintances but it's hard to force a deep friendship bond; it has to be organic, maybe, I don't know, nevermind.

It was kinda cool how you and Willow and Xander just clicked and had this deep bond that's lasted forever. That's rare and special. Of course, how could anyone who met any of you not wanna be your best friend forever?

love, Barbara

Dear Buffy,

Hey B, I loved how you, or rather robot you, is handling the drama in the latest comic book. All versions of you whether they be slayer, pre-slayer girl, robot, or mental patient, are always super competent and resourceful. I wish I could be like that. You're like "oh the apocalypse is coming? Beep me." I'm like, "oh, my lease is up? I guess I'll have to live in this abandoned cupboard. Maybe your friend Joss can make a movie about me called Cabinet in the Woods. I wish I had a robot version of myself, just to hang out with for a while. I'll never really be a comic book hero though. The closest I would get would be to write one.

You're the best and mine and everyone else's hero!!!!!!!!!!
love, Barbara

Dear Buffy,

I was just thinking how weird it was that Cordie just kind disappeared from your storyline and popped into Angel's. One of my best friends is in the process of moving and it always feels so sudden and random. Like, I want her to be happy, so I totally encourage and support her moving. But I'm going to miss her so much. This happened a few months ago when my then-boyfriend moved and I was so happy for him because it seemed that he was moving on to something bigger and better, but that led to our relationship ending, and  I miss him too now. People keep slowly fading out of my life and I wonder if it's me that can't keep a friendship or a relationship or if it's just coincidental circumstance? I'm jealous of your long lasting deep bonds with friends.

Anyway, I love the Dracula drama! It's so cool that real Drac kinda is like how Stoker wrote him. It's like meeting a celebrity and having them be sorta like how you imagined them. I'm sorry you had to go through that though, seemed pretty intense and creepy to lose control of your desires that way. People, especially girls my-ish age, forget that vamps are fricking scary!!! They gotta remember that.

Anywhoodles, be nice to Dawnie, sisterhood is the most important thing.

love, Barbara

Dear Buffy,

Morning, B. I have been kinda high when we've been hanging out lately, so last night's Angel drama threw me. I guess I haven't kept up with him since he moved to LA. I think you handle stuff with him waaaay better than I do with my ex. Like, it's healthy probably to just have some time and space after they leave. I'm still so attached to my ex, and it's never a happy healthy love anymore. It's more like the destructive I-know-he's-a-vampire-and-we-can-never-be-but-I-just-can't-stop-grooving-to-the-music kind of love.

I'm really proud of Willow for being true to herself. I really hope Tara and her are happy. She's grown a lot and become a really strong person. I sorta wish I was that way. I'm usually too busy wallowing in my depression and anxiety to grow the fuck up and be a good human.

Giles deserves a big hug. He's the best.
love, Barbara

Dear Buffy,

Oh man, I can't believe I stayed up so late trying to catch up with you. I guess Riley is kinda starting to grow on me, by which I mean he's getting less bro-ish-ly-military-hetero annoying. I dated a guy like that once, all chiseled jaw and opening the doors for ladies, but underneath it he was an evil soul sucking demon. Well, he cheated on me so close enough, right?

Faith body switching drama kinda freaked me out last night. It was really cool and disturbing. I wouldn't want her in my body, making it all gross and makeup-y and using it for sexing republicans and what not. Gross. Honestly, as much as I hate my body and myself, I wouldn't want to switch places with anyone else because that wouldn't be growth or changing. I have a lot of things I want to change about myself, but I think I'm willing to put in the work to do it, and not just hop into the body of someone else. Unless it was like a monster with super powers. Or unless it was you.

love, Barbara

Dear Buffy,

Hey girl, oh, okay, I was just trying out the "hey girl" thing to see if I could pull it off. Turns out I can't. Thanks for letting me try. That drama with "The Gentleman" last night was so intense. I don't think I've been that unsettled/freaked out/inspired in a while. It was like a kid's ghost story. There's something so genuinely wonderful about a fancy looking man who smiles as he silences your screams and rips your heart straight out of your chest. Or in other words, have you tried dating?

That's pretty cool you get to go to space this weekend for free comic book day! I've always wanted to go. It's probably cold so pack a sweater. Space seems like a good place for vamps, without the sunlight and all. Give Willow hugs!

Anyway, you're still the best slayer,
love, Barbara