Thursday, September 7, 2017

Dear Buffy/ goodbye

Dear Buffy,

This is going to be my last post for a while. I still love you, but I no longer look up to you and think you're perfect, which is healthy. I know I'm not perfect either. I think right now, with everything that's going on in the world, I need to work on artistically creating new stories with strong selfless heroes, as opposed to simply idealizing the stories of others. Moreover I need to work on being stronger, more loving, smarter, braver, and better myself, for me and for my friends and family and everyone. I'm not saying I won't still read all the Buffy comics and watch Buffy all the time, but I need to make new heroes as well.

Thank you for everything you've done for me. Thanks for being one of my only friends in middle school and high school. Thanks for teaching me how to act confident, funny, brave, loving, and vulnerable when I was 11 and could barely figure out how to fit my hair through a door. Thanks for teaching me about selflessness, and teaching me that those with strength and privilege should never use it against those who don't have it, and should instead protect those more vulnerable than ourselves. Thank you for sharing your strength with women everywhere.

"I say my power, should be *our* power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of this scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a Slayer, will be a Slayer. Every girl who could have the power, will have the power. Can stand up, will stand up. Slayers, every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong?"

I love you, Buffy. I want to be like you. I look up to you.
You're my hero.
love, babs



Dear Buffy

hey B,

I've been feeling kinda lonely lately, and kinda separated and lost, as if I'm in that pit that you and Dawn fell into in season five. I also really feel like lately my powers have been on the fritz, like yours when the counsel used crystals to drug and manipulate and hypnotize you. I guess the difference is I'm my own messed up evil crystal.

I just watched the episode where Faith shows up. I know Faith is erratic, unstable, snappy, insolent, brash, and over-defensive, but gosh, I LOVE her. You know how her first episode she tries to get you to "find the fun," and you struggle to maintain that you need to stay rigid and unwavering disciplined, in order to fend off the forces of darkness. I think I need to find the fun more, but often for me that can involve drinking or excessive socialization which in turn makes me less disciplined and less able to fight off the forces of darkness (meaning my own depression.) I know I have a lot of friends who love me dearly and I love them dearly. I guess I need to be a better of a friend to them, more nurturing, more like you.

Thanks for saving the world, a lot.
 

love, Babs