Hey B,
Is this what happiness feels like? I feel super happy with my life with my friends and my love life. I adore my scoobies. Actually, honestly, I'm probably the scoobie and maybe Jen is the you. Except on Saturday I took a quiz and it said if I was a Whedon heroine I would be you because I'm witty and I love my friends more than anything. BUT there's a small chance I might have tried to trick the quiz to get that answer. I wish I thought about my friends more than anything. I wish I was like you, a better friend and sister. I also wish I was like you in the aspect of making something happen with my life. I feel so lost, like I'm not doing anything. I constantly work on my comedy and performance art stuff, and I DO think I'm getting better, but I don't barely notice that my career trajectory is moving forward at all. Life's not a song...
ANYWHOODLES
love you so much, B,
Can't wait to see you again in the comics. I've missed you A LOT.
Babs
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Thursday, February 13, 2014
Dear Buffy,
HEY B!
Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Have you EVER celebrated Valentine's Day? And by celebrated I don't mean partied via slayage of evil demons. I guess that's technically what any party should be ostensibly, the slaying of evil mental demons, dark thoughts, the banishment and exorcism of anxieties, etc. Having a holiday for the sole purpose of celebrating love is weird. Shouldn't all holidays celebrate love? It burns brighter than the fire. Love will lead us to our gift. Except love with Angel because he suuuuuucks. Literally. Ugh.
My life is going okay, as usual struggling with my career or lack thereof. I so want to have a destiny, to be chosen. I want to believe that EVERYONE is chosen, that every woman is special to existence with the potential to help others and save the world a lot.
I dunno. Yeah.
love,
Babs
Valentine's Day is tomorrow. Have you EVER celebrated Valentine's Day? And by celebrated I don't mean partied via slayage of evil demons. I guess that's technically what any party should be ostensibly, the slaying of evil mental demons, dark thoughts, the banishment and exorcism of anxieties, etc. Having a holiday for the sole purpose of celebrating love is weird. Shouldn't all holidays celebrate love? It burns brighter than the fire. Love will lead us to our gift. Except love with Angel because he suuuuuucks. Literally. Ugh.
My life is going okay, as usual struggling with my career or lack thereof. I so want to have a destiny, to be chosen. I want to believe that EVERYONE is chosen, that every woman is special to existence with the potential to help others and save the world a lot.
I dunno. Yeah.
love,
Babs
Friday, February 7, 2014
Dear Buffy,
Hey gurl,
It's totes snowy here in the land of Ports. I feel like I've had a little bit of writer's block the last couple days. I don't know what to do with my brain. It feels like I may be losing my creative powers. I think falling for a dude has made me soft and weak, like you did to Spike. (But in the long run, it made Spike stronger than he had ever been, because from love comes strength.) It feels kinda sad seeing a lot of my friends succeed around me, and not doing so myself. And it's my own fault, I'm not working, not training, not learning. I'm not hunting the vampires, so why would I expect them to just fall on my stake?
Stay warm. Strong is fighting.
love,
Babs
It's totes snowy here in the land of Ports. I feel like I've had a little bit of writer's block the last couple days. I don't know what to do with my brain. It feels like I may be losing my creative powers. I think falling for a dude has made me soft and weak, like you did to Spike. (But in the long run, it made Spike stronger than he had ever been, because from love comes strength.) It feels kinda sad seeing a lot of my friends succeed around me, and not doing so myself. And it's my own fault, I'm not working, not training, not learning. I'm not hunting the vampires, so why would I expect them to just fall on my stake?
Stay warm. Strong is fighting.
love,
Babs
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
DEAR BUFFY,
Hey B,
I am at work right now but it's weirdly chill at the moment. Usually it's so busy I don't get a lot of time to write to you. I'm a little stressed that I'm 26 and still working in a call center, that I don't really have a direction for my career. You're lucky you have such an obvious destiny, must take a lot of the wondering out, but not the wonders. I just want to be "chosen" for something. I just want to develop magickal witch powers so I can go from being a hapless, clueless, dork to a dynamic vibrant multidimensional wiccan... I'd probably use my powers for only good, I think.
I just had an amazing weekend with all of my friends in San Francisco and now I want to work harder. I feel like when you met Kendra and she was so ambitious and professional and it made you feel insecure.
This dude I was dating for a minute called me inconsiderate of others, and he wasn't wrong. I mean obviously, I love my friends with a love that burns brighter than the fire. I'm full of love. That's why I shy away from it. But despite that, I kinda have held him at arms length, and Riley/ Xander sized arms, not Babs sized arms. I've kinda treated him A LOT like how you treated Riley in season 5. And it's not him AT ALL. He's a sweetie, a total babe, but I just have been hurt so much when I let myself be vulnerable with men, now I treat them like a vampire: no one gets invited in. I don't wanna get hurt so I try to do whatever I want to do and not allow myself to think of a dude's feelings, because if I think about their feelings, I'll just dwell on the fact that they don't feel like they like me. It hurt a fucking lot to be called inconsiderate, but I should work on lowering my guard a little maybe.
Love,
Babs
I am at work right now but it's weirdly chill at the moment. Usually it's so busy I don't get a lot of time to write to you. I'm a little stressed that I'm 26 and still working in a call center, that I don't really have a direction for my career. You're lucky you have such an obvious destiny, must take a lot of the wondering out, but not the wonders. I just want to be "chosen" for something. I just want to develop magickal witch powers so I can go from being a hapless, clueless, dork to a dynamic vibrant multidimensional wiccan... I'd probably use my powers for only good, I think.
I just had an amazing weekend with all of my friends in San Francisco and now I want to work harder. I feel like when you met Kendra and she was so ambitious and professional and it made you feel insecure.
This dude I was dating for a minute called me inconsiderate of others, and he wasn't wrong. I mean obviously, I love my friends with a love that burns brighter than the fire. I'm full of love. That's why I shy away from it. But despite that, I kinda have held him at arms length, and Riley/ Xander sized arms, not Babs sized arms. I've kinda treated him A LOT like how you treated Riley in season 5. And it's not him AT ALL. He's a sweetie, a total babe, but I just have been hurt so much when I let myself be vulnerable with men, now I treat them like a vampire: no one gets invited in. I don't wanna get hurt so I try to do whatever I want to do and not allow myself to think of a dude's feelings, because if I think about their feelings, I'll just dwell on the fact that they don't feel like they like me. It hurt a fucking lot to be called inconsiderate, but I should work on lowering my guard a little maybe.
Love,
Babs
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