Thursday, November 29, 2012

Dear Buffy,

Hey B,
So, I'm in the process of moving. Heading south, closer to you! I realized I've never seen you in a normal airplane, is that because it's too hard to get a bag of stakes and crossbows past security? It feels a bit surreal to be leaving Seattle. I've never lived outside of Seattle for more than a study abroad thing. It hasn't hit me yet. I'm really excited to maybe meet some new friends and maybe find somewhere I can finally fit in. I get that I'll never be fully accepted by a community, and I'll always feel somewhat alone, but it would be nice to be somewhere where just a few people like me. All I really need is a Willow and a Xander; I don't need a whole army of potential slayers on board. I'm sorta packing today. Is it weird how many comic books and stuffed animals a 25 year old has? Yes, most of the comic books are about you. Sorry, no about the stuffed animals. Actually, would you be creeped out if I had a Buffy doll?

Talk soon,
love, Babs

Monday, November 26, 2012

Dear Buffy,

Hey B, I always forget how young you were when you raised an army and battled an apocalypse while still maintaining gorgeous hair and sassy comebacks. I'm four years older than you were and I can barely get out of my pajamas without crying. In fact, I'm still in my jamies right now, but it's only because I have a slight cold. And by cold I mean history of depression, haha, just kidding, maybe. I really need a Willow and a Xander... but I get that no one will love me until I love myself first and other hallmarky crap. I think that's why I need to move, like you did from Sunnyvale to San Francisco, to have a new start and leave the old demons behind and maybe try a new life where I'm a better person and more helpful to others. I wish I was as strong as you. Honestly, If I could be as strong now as you were when you were 15, I'd be set. Sometimes I wish I lived on a literal hellmouth so I would be forced to grow up, or be sired and live forever in the legion of the undead.

P.S. Please stake this Edward dude soon; he's really getting on my nerves,


Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Dear Buffy,

Hey B, I'm sitting in this coffeeshop trying to write, but not a lot is coming out of me. Maybe I'm mentally constipated. That's how I think of it, because I don't really believe in writer's block. I don't believe anyone can be empty. I wish this was the coffee shop that you used to work in and that you still worked here, just so we could get a chance to hang out.

I gotta say, I am not entirely on board with this Billy fellow. Like I trust him, obviously. But, I think having a male slayer is counterintuitive to the whole feminist movement of the slayer mythology. Maybe that sounds like reverse sexism, but I think that reverse sexism isn't an applicable concept in a society where we're still dealing with senators trying to convince us that god supports rape and bookers saying women aren't funny and vamps acting like little girls aren't a big threat. I wish I was as strong and confident as you, Buffster.

I hope Willow gets back safely. Wonderland ain't as adorable as it seemed when I was a kid and I desperately ran around searching for rabbit holes to escape into. I really respect what she's doing, trying to restore magic. Whether you're a witch, a slayer, a writer, an artist, a performer, a musician, or just someone who enjoys a little bit of rainbows, the world needs magic.

big hugs,

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Dear Buffy,

Hey, B, haven't written in a while, sorry I've been a little crazy, literally. I have been travelling a lot for stand up. I went to your original hometown LA and your new home San Francisco. Both places were so sunshiney I can't imagine that vampires would willingly choose them as habitats. But then again, it's not like a vamp chooses where he is sired, right? It's kinda the same way for stand up... I didn't choose to be sired in Seattle, but I'm glad I am in the pacific northwest and I'm glad I'm in a kinda big city. I've been feeling a little weird and lonely and disconnected lately; it almost makes me wonder if stand up is my calling. Did you ever think about walking away from slaying? Now that there's so many slayers it seems like a possibility. But I know that no matter how dark it gets, the world will always need you to save the day. Unfortunately, it's pretty obvious I need stand up, but it doesn't need me back.

Hug Willow for me.

love, Barbara