Sometimes I feel like I am almost like your opposite, a friendless, lonely, powerless, human with very few morals. I wish I was a more moral person. I wish I helped people with my art; but my part is not that of a slayer, not that of a hero. I am imagining dramatic girl rock music play behind me while I walk away in the rain.
I just saw the episode last night where you and Spike discover that Riley has been paying vamps to bite him. I'm so sorry you had to witness something that felt like such a betrayal. I hope you know, he was trying to hurt himself, not you. Sometimes people can get addicted to hurting themselves. I know I've had a lot of problems with emotional and mental anxieties, that can become encompassing and I get so submerged in them that it drowns out anything else. Sometimes people get so comfortable with their sicknesses, that they don't even want to get better, and it's terrifying, but it's not your fault. You can't slay everyone's inner demons.
You're my hero and my role model. I want my hair to be whatever length yours is in whatever medium I'm consuming at the time.
Hope you're having just the best day.