Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Dear Buffy,

Hey B, I was thinking about how you got sick basically three times in the course of 9 times, while I seem to get sick like every other week, whenever my low self esteem starts inviting the germs in like the slowest most passive aggressive suicide attempt ever. Anywhoodles. You always seem to get sick for inixplicable magical reasons, which I can relate to. But then you, or one of your equally powerful strong friends, usually heals yourself; you save yourself constantly from all sorts of demons. I wish I could say the same. It sucks that I'm so much older than you, and the demons I battle are so much less life threatening and serious. I'm embarrassed that I have to fight the body image and I-think-I'm-a-horrible-person demons. It feels so silly to have these problems at my age. I feel pathetic and weak, the opposite of a slayer, a victim. In Charmed they call the victims "innocents" which is more empowering, but doesn't feel right because I'm a lot like Brittany Spears, not that good of a singer. I wish I was inspiringly badass, sweet, caring, quirkily witty and good at dancing like you. I wish I was strong enough that I could conquer all of my problems without feeling embarrassed. I wish I was more like you. Sometimes I practice walking like you. I need a hug. Can Willow do a spell to make me love myself?

I love you and I love everything you do for young women, for your friends, for innocent people everywhere, and I appreciate your powers, abilities, strength, and kindness.

Oh, I don't know.

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