I seriously feel like I have a chip in my head that is stopping me from "killing." (I killing mean on stage, not like literal vamp on neck kill action.) I have to start training harder. I need a watcher, but I feel like I'm almost too old to be a good slayer. I need to be my own watcher. I don't feel chosen right now. I still feel strong, but you know, outside looking in, like Faith. Well, I keep plugging or whatevs and I'll be 5x5.