Dear Buffy,

Hey buddy,

I'm currently sorta looking for a job. I guess I should be looking harder. It's difficult when you've sorta had a taste of what the career is you ideally want, and then you have to choke back down the, yeah in five years I see myself work in an office cubicle, cough, help, I can't breathe, what's happening. What I really want to be is a comedy writer or a writer in general, and I'm sorta struggling with making that a reality. I guess you know what I mean, what with having a mystical calling and whatever.

I'm starting to really make some new friends I think. I'm loving it here. I feel like I fit in... let's see how long that lasts. Remember when Tara thought she was part demon and she was so worried that when you guys found out who she really was you wouldn't love her? That's kinda how I feel all the time. It's so great here!

Growing up is hard. Can you slay adulthood?

love you, B,
Babs.

Dear Buffy,

Hey girl, I hate to say it but I haven't been keeping in that good of touch lately. Don't worry, it's not because I got a real life or anything crazy. I was watching another tv show about a teenage girl with super hero powers, calm down duh she's not as adorably witty and clever as you. I'm back in Portland after my trip to LA and then my trip to Seattle. It feels like, "oh shit, vacation's over! I need a job!" now and that's scary. Not as scary as a demon or vampire, I know, but still. I think you were in my dream last night, B. I'm always dreaming I'm the sidekick, never the hero. Write what you know!

Hope your adventures are going well. I'm getting anxious for a new comic with you as the protagonist. It's hard to empathize with Spike. But I love Willow, obviously.

You're the best! Hugs!
love, Babs

Dear Buffy,

Hey B! Last night for like probably the 10th time I rewatched the episode of your senior prom. It's weird I don't really remember my prom... I think I went to one at least. I guess when I was in high school I didn't really give it a chance at all. My sophomore year I was already going to college to avoid high school. Is it weird how when I was 15 I was so down to have a grown up career, but the idea of spending a night in a crowded gym with my peers made me want to throw up? Weirder yet, ten years later, both options make me nauseous.

The part in the episode where they're awarding senior class crap and you get "class protector" made me cry so hard. Of course they noticed you; you're a beautiful, smart, witty, charismatic, strong, thoughtful, altruistic heroine.

I am feeling kinda weird lately. I just got back from LA and I reeeeeally didn't want to come home, even though I love Portland. I guess whenever I get a taste of that lifestyle, genius comedians working hard and playing creatively.... I just want to melt into it. Comedy cities like New York and LA are like theme parks to me. I want it! Someday. What if I broke out in song right now? (Once more, with feeling.)

Miss ya, B! You're a lovely lady and I don't have much interest for this Billy fellow and hope that the storyline returns to dwell on you! However, I always am up for a little Willow side track.

HUGS!
Babs

Dear Buffy,

Hey, B,

I need a job! Is there such a job for someone to just hang around and recite trivia about you, aka the chosen one? I just moved down to Portland, and am trying to figure my life out. Portland is such a magical weird place. I wonder if I'll become desensitized to quirk living here. Like today my friends (yes I have friends, we'll see how long that lasts, or something perhaps more optimistic) and I were walking to breakfast and this cat was following us for like 5 blocks, just hanging out, coming to get some eggs benny... I wonder if someday the sparkle will just seem normal? Probably not, considering how long we've been friends and I still appreciate you!

I miss Rylee and Derek and Bryan and Yogi. It's gonna be hard living here. I wonder if I should change their names. Eh, they're not gonna read it anyway.

Hugs to Willow!

love, Babs

Dear Buffy,

Hey B,
So, I'm in the process of moving. Heading south, closer to you! I realized I've never seen you in a normal airplane, is that because it's too hard to get a bag of stakes and crossbows past security? It feels a bit surreal to be leaving Seattle. I've never lived outside of Seattle for more than a study abroad thing. It hasn't hit me yet. I'm really excited to maybe meet some new friends and maybe find somewhere I can finally fit in. I get that I'll never be fully accepted by a community, and I'll always feel somewhat alone, but it would be nice to be somewhere where just a few people like me. All I really need is a Willow and a Xander; I don't need a whole army of potential slayers on board. I'm sorta packing today. Is it weird how many comic books and stuffed animals a 25 year old has? Yes, most of the comic books are about you. Sorry, no about the stuffed animals. Actually, would you be creeped out if I had a Buffy doll?

Talk soon,
love, Babs

Dear Buffy,

Hey B, I always forget how young you were when you raised an army and battled an apocalypse while still maintaining gorgeous hair and sassy comebacks. I'm four years older than you were and I can barely get out of my pajamas without crying. In fact, I'm still in my jamies right now, but it's only because I have a slight cold. And by cold I mean history of depression, haha, just kidding, maybe. I really need a Willow and a Xander... but I get that no one will love me until I love myself first and other hallmarky crap. I think that's why I need to move, like you did from Sunnyvale to San Francisco, to have a new start and leave the old demons behind and maybe try a new life where I'm a better person and more helpful to others. I wish I was as strong as you. Honestly, If I could be as strong now as you were when you were 15, I'd be set. Sometimes I wish I lived on a literal hellmouth so I would be forced to grow up, or be sired and live forever in the legion of the undead.

P.S. Please stake this Edward dude soon; he's really getting on my nerves,

hugs,
Babs

Dear Buffy,

Hey B, I'm sitting in this coffeeshop trying to write, but not a lot is coming out of me. Maybe I'm mentally constipated. That's how I think of it, because I don't really believe in writer's block. I don't believe anyone can be empty. I wish this was the coffee shop that you used to work in and that you still worked here, just so we could get a chance to hang out.

I gotta say, I am not entirely on board with this Billy fellow. Like I trust him, obviously. But, I think having a male slayer is counterintuitive to the whole feminist movement of the slayer mythology. Maybe that sounds like reverse sexism, but I think that reverse sexism isn't an applicable concept in a society where we're still dealing with senators trying to convince us that god supports rape and bookers saying women aren't funny and vamps acting like little girls aren't a big threat. I wish I was as strong and confident as you, Buffster.

I hope Willow gets back safely. Wonderland ain't as adorable as it seemed when I was a kid and I desperately ran around searching for rabbit holes to escape into. I really respect what she's doing, trying to restore magic. Whether you're a witch, a slayer, a writer, an artist, a performer, a musician, or just someone who enjoys a little bit of rainbows, the world needs magic.

big hugs,
Babs