Dear Buffy,

Hey B!

I went to Eugene last night and headlined a show! It was so much fun to get to do a longer set. It felt like i was really working out my strengths and training hard. I don't get to do that a lot. I did 40 minutes! It was so scary, like coming into slayer powers. Okay, I'm sorry for bragging. That's the difference between slayers and comedians; comedians have to kinda hate themselves if they want to keep any of their friends.

I'm trying really hard to make friends and get better at talking to people. I'm still so shy. I remember when Willow used to be like this, but even then she was interesting and funny and smart and could talk to people. I guess I don't think she seemed that shy. She talked to lots of people, she just did it sorta quietly and politely. Maybe I should try that, being polite? Now I have to google how to be polite!

Anywhoodles. I miss you. I'm lonely.
love, Babs

Dear Buffy

Dear Buffy,

I'm sitting in a coffee shop writing this, thinking of you. It's been so long since I had a job-job (not a comedy related freelance project) I was just thinking "I like coffee shops. I wonder how Buffy got that job in a coffee shop. Oh I would probably be bad at that." My self esteem's kinda low lately for comedy and otherwise. I think I need Giles, or a therapist. I know, your experience with therapists wasn't that good, but they can be really important and helpful. I can definitely tell that I haven't seen one in a while. It's really manifesting in my interpersonal relationships. I'll be like "no one wants me around" but I know they don't not want me around. People don't actively disdain my presence; they don't even think about me. (There's a real perk of being a wallflower) People don't hate me; they nothing me. Oh uh, maybe I'll turn invisible like Willow accidentally did.

Anywhoodles. I miss you a lot. I'm getting really lonely. Write back?

Love, Babs

Dear Buffy,

Hey B! How's it going? I haven't really heard from you in a while. It's all Billy this, Billy that. He's a really nice guy, but he's no slayer! In comedy when we talk about someone negatively behind their back (like jerks) a lot of times we're like, "He's a great guy." OR "She's funny." (See what I did there? Feminism lalala!) My point is Buffster, in the beautiful realm of sequential art, I don't wanna read about no Y-chromosome owner unless I do and then it's probably Peter Parker, sniff sniff, hold me?

Anywhoodles. Portland, in true form to it's mantra, got weird. You know what's unrealistic? They never really showed someone like Jonathon asking you out and you having to figure out how to deal with it, although I'm sure it happened a ton.

I wish I was better at comedy. I wish I was better at everything. You never really had anyone better than you at slaying to look up to. That's kinda a weird dynamic. Whenever I see my wonderful funny friends doing something I feel so inspired to be better, but sometimes I feel frustrated, because what if intrinsically I'm just incapable of that level of cleverness and charm? What if a sense of humor is a natural ability, that no matter how hard I work, I just will never have?

I get excited about veiny black eyed Willow. Mostly because after Tara (RIP) I kinda trust Will to be strong enough to jump out of it. That's how I used to be with nervous breakdowns. Yes, I'm crying and shaking, but I'm a strong person and I know how to fight this. Now I don't know. Knock on coffee cup!

love ya!
Babs